Mild Gratuitous Fantasy Blogging

I don’t know when it started, but ‘back in the day’ – as a one-eyed German colleague of mine used to say – ratings for movies used to be so much simpler. You pretty much had a range of age classifications, and that was it (plus ‘X’ if you were feeling particularly adventurous).

Nowadays there seem to be an ever-increasing range of bizarre descriptive phrases associated with each movie trailer. Some of them are obvious enough: “contains sex, violence and drug-taking” sums it up nicely, and is enough of an advert for most people. What we also have now are descriptions like: “scenes of mild peril”, “spooky cartoon balloons”, “gratuitous sheep tickling” and so on.

I guess the idea is that the more descriptive, the better educated parents can be about whether to take little Johnny and Jodie to see the latest episode of Spunky Birthday. And the less chance of getting sued because no’one told you about the “frequent use of the word ‘schnizzle'”.

Still tickles me when you get descriptions like this though:

“A drug that induces nightmares is put into toy monkeys that have their thumbs stuck in their anus”

Which was an actual warning used for ‘Monkeybone’.

Anyone got any others?

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